The memory is a fascinating thing

One of the things that’s kind of fun about revisiting a blog that’s essentially been dead for four years is looking at the abandoned drafts that are filled with either incomplete thoughts or just a title. I had four of them. I couldn’t place any of them at first, and the one with only a title was particularly intriguing.

The elusive title: “How ‘Wings’ Let Me Down: A Title With No ‘Love’ In It”

Um, what? What was I doing in April 2010 that involved wings and love? I had no idea for about an hour. Then I looked at the titles of the previous posts, and it did seem there was a lot of love flowing through them. Well, that was one mystery down. What’s up with these wings, though? I can’t connect baseball to wings nor can I connect 2010 to wings. I flew to Pennsylvania that year, but that wasn’t until months later. I don’t think I knew I was going in April.

I moved on after about an hour.

Then it hit me at 4 AM like a lot of great ideas do. I’m grateful I remembered. I’m not grateful that it was no longer so intriguing when I figured out what I was going to write about.

Wings…as in Baumhower’s Wings! If you’ve been around the state of Alabama, and you are a sports or chicken wings fan, you’ve probably been to a Baumhower’s. If not, I’ll just leave this right here. If you didn't read that, Baumhower's was founded by Bob Baumhower, a former Alabama football player. It used to be called "Wings," but the name was changed in 2012 “in order to embrace the comprehensive and expansive menu featured at each restaurant.” This was also probably because the name “Wings” is stupid and conjures up thoughts of breastaurants. That’s just speculation and there’s nothing wrong with a good breastaurant now and again. More on that in a minute.

Anyway, why was I writing about them letting me down? Very simple.

They don’t show baseball.

Well, it’s not a policy per se, but they’re certainly not in any hurry to do so. They were one of four sports bars in Mobile at the time, and I was looking for a place to watch Opening Day. I started at Buffalo Wild Wings, who didn’t usually let me down. Their food isn't great, but they have more TVs than Best Buy. That night was trivia night, though, and those trivia folks really get in the way of a good ball game. The other bar, a local joint called Heroes that’s actually a pretty cool place, was downtown, about 10 miles from where I lived, so they were at the bottom of my list. They’ve since opened a location closer to where I lived, but that does me no good in 2014. Baumhower’s was the next choice based on location, so that’s where we went. The conversation with the hostess went something like this (mind you, I am taking some poetic license for narrative purposes since this was four years ago, but it’s the gist):

Me: “Hi! What games are you showing today?”

Hostess: “Games? Uh…”

Me: “Yeah, it’s Opening Day, and I’d love to watch some baseball. The Phillies played earlier so I will take whatever games are on tonight.”

Hostess: “Baseball? Well, we show the Braves sometimes…”

She began looking around for help. A manager quickly approached the stand. I told her what I had just told the hostess, and she said, “Well, we don’t have the MLB package or anything. We show Braves games when they’re playing on regular channels, but that’s it.”

Floored, I stared at her dumbfounded and trying to think of a follow up query. I had none, but I sputtered out, “So if I wanted to watch a baseball game that wasn’t the Braves but was on, say, ESPN or FOX, could you show THAT?”

“Only if there’s not a football game or something like that.”

Again, I was confused. “Who plays football in the summer?” She shrugged and said, “We watch the spring Bama game and the draft and stuff.”

Oh.

I just thanked them and left. We went to Hooters. Speaking of breastaurants. Told you I'd come back to that.

When I explained my experience to the hostess at Hooters, she said, “Honey, I got you,” and escorted us to the best table facing four of the biggest TVs, and she had the manager put a different baseball game on all four of them. 

I spent a lot of money in Hooters that night. I probably tipped our server 40%, but I was happy and they did right by me. I’m not saying that Baumhower’s was necessarily in the wrong because I knew they were a football-centric establishment. However, they also positioned themselves as a sports grill, and last I checked, that’s a plural on “sport” there, indicating there’s more than one kind.

In the end, what’s the lesson? What’s YOUR takeaway?

Not much. Just a couple tips:

1. If you’re looking for a good football game and you happen to be in Alabama, look for Baumhower’s. If you’re looking for rounder-shaped balls or black, hard disk-shaped things, go to Hooters.

2.  Don’t knock the breastaurants, man. Hooters has a model that works, and they don’t lack in customer service.