Ham and eggs

Earlier, I declared my inability to write without a baseball game on. Naturally, my friends were genuinely concerned for my condition and began to immediately offer their assistance. I have such great friends. The following was the result of suggesting that I might be able to operate at the Dr. Seuss level with the proper initiative.
Thanks, Kenny Porter! I would link to his Facebook, but I hear there are a number of international organizations trying to find him, and I just can't have his capture on my shoulders. Here's his incredible motivational piece. 

Bonus points for anyone who knows what "ham and eggs" is in baseball.

I am Erin Erin I am That Erin-I-am! That Erin-I-am! I do not like that Erin-I-am Do you like Verlander and ham? I do not like them, Erin-I-am I do not like Verlander and ham. Would you like them here or in there? I would not like them here or there. I would not like them even with your glare. I do not like Verlander and ham. I do not like them, Erin-I-am. Would you like them on a mound? Would you like them on the grounds? I do not like them on a mound. I do not like them on the grounds. I do not like them here or there. I do not like them even with your glare. I do not like Verlander and ham. I do not like them, Erin-I-am. Would you see them in a tux? Would you take them to the Luxe? Not in a tux. Not to the Luxe. Not on the mound. Not on the grounds. I would not take them here or there. I would not like them even with your glare. I would not watch Verlander and ham. I do not like them, Erin-I-am. Would you? Could you? In a bar? Watch them? See them? Here they are. I would not, could not, In a bar. You may like them. You will see. You may like them sign your cleat! I would not, could not sign my cleat. Not in a bar! you let me be. I do not like them on the mound. I do not like them on the grounds. I do not like them in a tux. I do not take them to the Luxe. I do not like them here or there. I do not like them even with your glare. 
I do not like Verlander and ham.
I do not like them Erin-I-am. On grass! On grass! Could you, would you on the grass? Not on grass! Not my cleat! Not in a bar! Erin! let me be! I would not, could not, in a tux I could not, would not take them to the Luxe. I do not like them on the mound. I do not like them on the grounds. I do not like them here or there. I do not like them even with your glare. I do not like them, Erin-I-am. Say! With a ring? Here, with a ring? Would you, could you, with a ring? I would not, could not, with a ring. Would you, could you, in the spring? I would not, could not in the spring. Not with a ring, not on grass, not in a bar, not on my cleat. I do not like them, Erin, you crass. Not on the mound, not in a tux. Not on the grounds, not at the Luxe. I will not cheer them here or there. I do not like them even with your glare. You do not like Verlander and ham? I do not like them, Erin-I-am. Could you, would you, with a bribe? I would not, could not, with a bribe. Would you, could you, with my vibe? I could not, would not, with your vibe. I will not, will not, with a bribe. I will not in the spring. I will not on the grass. I will not with a ring! Not even on my cleat! Not in a bar! You let me be! I do not like them in a tux. I will not take them to the Luxe. I do not like them on the mound. I do not like them on the grounds. I will not cheer them here or there. I do not like them even with your GLARE! I do not like Verlander and ham! I do not like them, Erin-I-am. You do not like them. So you say. Try them! Try them! And you may. Try them and you may I say. Erin! If you let me be, I will cheer them. You will see. Say! I like Verlander and ham! I do! I like them, Erin-I-am! And I would like them with your vibe And I would like them with a bribe… And I would like them in the spring. And with a ring. And on the grass. And in a bar. And on my cleat. They are so good, so good you see! So I will see them in a tux. And I will take them to the Luxe. And I will see them on mound. And I will see them on the grounds. And I will see them here and there. Say! I will see them without your glare! I do so like Verlander and ham! Thank you! Thank you, Erin-I-am!